Jello with The Melvins: Enchanted Thoughtfist

Underground CERN: it’s Half-Life in real-life

It’s one of the greatest games of all time. You clamber over pipes and through ducts. Cables of unclear electrical status dangle uncomfortably close to puddles of water. Tunnels lit by rudimentary emergency lighting lead on and on past a hissing steam pipe, then dripping water, then silence, until the darkness slowly reveals a moist and fleshy lump growing out of the ground.

The game is high energy physics, though there are a couple decades of decay between these scenes and active science. A few years back, shortly before the game Half-Life 2 came out, a group of us explored the little-traveled CERN tunnels recorded in the photos below. The resemblance to the original Half-Life–with its steam leaks, ventilation shafts, and dark corners hiding headcrabs–is uncanny (though my observations indicate that CERN’s dark corners are not fully populated). It’s a testament to Half-Life’s genius design and storytelling that the fantasy of Gordon Freeman’s life becomes so plausible in this real-life setting.  It’s also a testament to the awesomeness of science!

Why use plain butter when it's so easy to make your own compound butter? My latest combination is real bacon and blue cheese, perfect for topping a fresh-off-the grill steak. The butter keeps in the refrigerator for about a week. If you're not a fan of bacon and blue cheese, just pick your favorite spices and/or herbs to mix with the butter. I also like garlic-parsley-smoked paprika (use a garlic press to smush 1-2 cloves garlic plus 2 teaspoons finely minced fresh parsley plus 1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika plus 1 good pinch of salt).

1 strip bacon, cut into 3 pieces

1/2 cup unsalted butter (1 stick), softened to room temperature

1/4 cup blue cheese, crumbled

9-inch by 13-inch piece parchment paper

Heat a frying pan over medium-high heat. Add the bacon and cook until crisp. Drain, pat dry and chop the bacon into very fine pieces. Add the bacon, blue cheese crumbles and the butter in a bowl and use a fork to mix well.

Lay the parchment paper flat with the long side facing you. Spoon the butter mixture near the bottom of the paper. Roll the paper up, smoothing out the butter to resemble an even log, about 1 1/2-inches in diameter. Try to roll it pretty tight to get rid of any trapped air.

Twist the ends of the parchment paper to secure and refrigerate for at least 1 hour until butter is firm. To use, unwrap the parchment paper and cut butter into 1/2-inch circles. Rewrap remaining butter in parchment paper and refrigerate up to one week.